Boyfriend is in the e.r with the flu
i miss him
one slice of toast and twenty-five grapes
everybody's too busy to accompany me to a hockey game i don't want to go to
i'm weak
diet dr.pepper instead of food
i'm learning
i'm cold
i love what i'm wearing today (pictures later?)
i want my fishyy to get better so i can lay with him
~~~
not going to the hockey game and my friend's coming over instead. My sister's team did good but they didn't place very high. I say WHO CARES, it's the first one, just work harder. I think that's why i couldn't be in cheer anymore, i don't compete hard enough to be the best. In anything. If i don't win my mindset is more "Oh well" than "What can I do to be better?" I just don't have that much passion for anything at the moment.
I skipped buying any junk food at the convention center. My dad even had me buy him a hot dog and a coke and i wasn't even tempted to get some nachos or chips or candy. GARBAGE, it's all garbage. Why shovel that shit into my mouth and feel worse? So i give myself a tiny applause for that. And i applaud myself again for not having a second plate of pasta that my mom warmed up and not adding seasoning to it to make it taste better which would've resulted in another helping AND for drinking soda instead of eating more and stepping out of the kitchen and aay from the danger zone. Seriously, just not being surrounded by food makes it less tempting to eat. My lazy fat ass is too lazy to get up and get a snack. I'll reach for this diet soda instead, thank you.
i love wearing heels. I love wearing wedges. I love dressing nice. It makes me feel so much better and, in some weird way, makes my appetite go away? Like i feel better about myself so i dont pity eat or feel like i need to stuff my face. I feel like, "i look good, i must ACT like i look good" if that makes ANY sense?
Still no word from Andrew about his status in the e.r. either he's still there or he's sleeping, that cute boy. I want to bring him a present or a surprise or something to make him feel better. He's the first boy that makes me want to go out of my way just to see that gorgeous smile on his face.
i miss him
one slice of toast and twenty-five grapes
everybody's too busy to accompany me to a hockey game i don't want to go to
i'm weak
diet dr.pepper instead of food
i'm learning
i'm cold
i love what i'm wearing today (pictures later?)
i want my fishyy to get better so i can lay with him
~~~
not going to the hockey game and my friend's coming over instead. My sister's team did good but they didn't place very high. I say WHO CARES, it's the first one, just work harder. I think that's why i couldn't be in cheer anymore, i don't compete hard enough to be the best. In anything. If i don't win my mindset is more "Oh well" than "What can I do to be better?" I just don't have that much passion for anything at the moment.
I skipped buying any junk food at the convention center. My dad even had me buy him a hot dog and a coke and i wasn't even tempted to get some nachos or chips or candy. GARBAGE, it's all garbage. Why shovel that shit into my mouth and feel worse? So i give myself a tiny applause for that. And i applaud myself again for not having a second plate of pasta that my mom warmed up and not adding seasoning to it to make it taste better which would've resulted in another helping AND for drinking soda instead of eating more and stepping out of the kitchen and aay from the danger zone. Seriously, just not being surrounded by food makes it less tempting to eat. My lazy fat ass is too lazy to get up and get a snack. I'll reach for this diet soda instead, thank you.
i love wearing heels. I love wearing wedges. I love dressing nice. It makes me feel so much better and, in some weird way, makes my appetite go away? Like i feel better about myself so i dont pity eat or feel like i need to stuff my face. I feel like, "i look good, i must ACT like i look good" if that makes ANY sense?
Still no word from Andrew about his status in the e.r. either he's still there or he's sleeping, that cute boy. I want to bring him a present or a surprise or something to make him feel better. He's the first boy that makes me want to go out of my way just to see that gorgeous smile on his face.
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