Just Enough to Solve Your Problems, Too Much Will Kill You

Tonight i get to sleep at the boy's house, im HOPING we don't get pizza (his favorite) or Wendy's. I didn't exactly plan well this morning in case of such a disaster.
Woke up late for "math" (got dropped but didnt tell my mom so i spend the morning at the boy's house) so i got a late start. Ate about 120 cals of cereal. I met my friend at school and caught up with everything. I told her i wasn't eating meat anymore an she heard me wrong and said, "You're not eating anymore?!" Hah...yeah.
Came home and had lunch which was 3 spinach&artichoke ball things by morningstar which were 190 cals and a slice of wheat bread with an unnecessary piece of cheese on top making my total of lunch 390. Awesome-_-

Found a new thinspo. I never really liked her for no real reason, but now i envy angelina.

And It's Easy to Smoke It Up and Forget

Today was a fail.
No need to get into detail.
I'm sure it was over 1000.
I'll never learn.









and my personal favorite:

This Time, Baby, I'll Be Bulletproof

Woke up really motivated this morning because of last night's "disaster". Sister brought me a cookie and i ate some crackers.

Before going to the boy's house i had a slice of wheat bread with the tinyest bit of nutella on it and a chewy bar totaling around 200cals. We slept until 11am when i had to leave and luckly i told my mom i was at lunch with a friend so i came home and had an energy packet in a bottle water and called it a meal(:
I was reading the nutritional facts on a box of microwaveable popcorn we had and one bag was only 30cals! I thought there must be a lot of fat or sugar and here but no! 0g of each! So i popped myself a bag and put some in a sandwich bag for class for emergency if my stomach got loud and ate the rest of the bag on the way there. Stomach stayed silent(:
When i came home my mom told me she bought me vegan buffalo wings, this other vegan snack, and bean and cheese burritos. FINALLY she supports my vegetarianism! So i tried the buffalo wings which were 200cals per serving (5 wings) and it was filling!
I'm going to an outdoor mall with my friend so we can both avoid dinner and the cookies that are baking and walk around and be motivated and jolly and shaky and lalala{:
Today's Total: 430cals ; 4 bottles of water
i call that quite successful!
Oh and i finally fit into these long johns i bought 2 summers ago! I wore them last night(:
xoxo

Treat That Treats You So Mean, Covering Your Nights and Days

Went to bed at 4am last night (morning-_-) and got woken up by my sister a little before 7 to take her to school. And i haven't slept since then! I think the energy powder i put in my water made me stay awake, glad to know it works(:
breakfast consisted of 100cals worth of oatmeal that i waited to long to eat and got cold an nasty, who cares, and a glass of water.
My mom wanted to take me to get new pants for work so before we left i ate an apple(70cals) and a small almost cheese-less quesadilla(150) and i had those for several reasons: 1.didn't want my stomach rumbling around my mom 2.my first moments of hunger are when i get the most irritable and i didn't feel like starting a fight with her today (anyone else get irritable?) 3.hoping to get my mom to think that that was my lunch. But #3 was a fail. She wanted to get taco bell and i said okay because i knew she couldnt argue with me gettingsomething without meat. bean and cheese burrito anyone? 320 fucking calories.
No dinner for me tonight. I've had 2 more glasses of water already so hopefully this shit will flush right out.
Total:640
wow. what a fail.
I need to exercise tonight.
I need some pretty thinspo...















xoxo

I'm Vulnerable, You're Vulnerable

Family get-together's are never good news, food-wise.
But I'm proud to announce i did really well for being crowded by cookies, chips, crackers&cheese, meats, rice&beans, and sausage links.
Skipped breakfast.
Skipped lunch.
Dinner was half a cup of rice w/beans and 2 bites of salad
I don't know the cals for that, I'm guessing >200
Then i had a pickle (negative), a yogurt (110), and an orange (80).
todays total: ~390
Blegh, I could've done better.

I'm getting sick ):

But I'm really really HAPPY that I stayed away from the cookies! They're my favorite kind too! Well...they WERE my favorite kind. Not anymore{:
I'm getting stronger, I can feel it.

Flesh and Bone by the Telephone

Did fairly well today.
Day 2 of vegetarianism<3
Had a chewy bar (90) and special k crackers (90) for breakfast
Went to Chipotle at lunch with a boy, finished half (~210)
NO SNACKS
Dinner was 2 veggie sausage patties (160) and fruit (~80)
Grand Total: 630
Not Terrible.

I'm craving peanut butter SO bad right now ! And i have to stay up until one.
four. more. hours.
I'm watching the Saw movies to keep my mind occupied:p


Addison Gill

Teapot Robot

I must stay out of the kitchen.
I must stay away from the candy jar.
I must drink more water.
I must buy more diet pills.

I'm super motivated today, I've had no meat since breakfast and I plan to keep it that way. Hello veganism<3
meal plan:
breakfast-oatmeal
lunch-fruit smoothie
dinner-skip NO SNACKS.
I need to be 98 by Halloween !!

taylor momsennnn, be my wifeee{:<

Fishy Kisses

Went to the boy's house in the morning and slept until noon. It's always so cuute to see him(:
Sleeping helped me keep off eating until about 1:30pm when I was supposed to go to class. BUT i got fucking fast food. Seriously? I need to buy more special k bars so i can eat those before class without worrying if my stomach will roar. That's really the only thing that holds me backk.

I wish my stomach was silent
I wish i had my control back

I can do this, I HAVE to do this. I'm crying.

Open-Minded~

~~~

Keep Running Up That Hill

i've been doing a lt better lately. I stay away from junk automatically and i'm constanty surrounded by tiny girls and reminded of how disgusting i look next to them. Being in the rave scene helps a LOT. 1.cute boys to impress 2.hipbones everywhere 3.drugz
it sounds awful, because it is awful. this whole thing is awful. my concept of perfection is awful. the pressures i'm under are awful. what i have to compete against is awful. what i have to do to be happy is awful.

after 4 months of being single and recovering from the most unhealthy relationship, i think i've finally found the boy who can change my mind about boyfriends. he's cute, he makes me laugh, i dont feel like i have to impress him, he calms my nerves, he makes the cutest faces, he's taller then me, hes skinny (!!), he's genuine, he doesnt try to control me like so many others have tried to do, i want to see him every second of the day, i want to talk to him about everything, i feel like there are endless things we could and share, he doesn't pressure me with ANYTHING, and i can see that he really likes me just as much as i like him. And that makes me so happy and relieved. I may have found the cutest boy in the universe.!

halloween! it's in less than two weeks and i MUST look little. i don't care what it takes. i hadmy last piece of meat today and my last sugary sweet. fruits and veggies and grains. THAT'S ALL! And water and hydroxycut and sleep and !

I'm off to watch some more thinspo videos on youtube. I'm on skype with ze boy and he's doing his english paper so i'm going to keep my brain occupied with visuals of what i must (and WILL) be.

xo